In my last blog post, Bravery + Boldness, I talked about being brave. Can I board a plane? Sure, why not. Can I get a shot without my mom holding my hand? I guess, if I absolutely have to. Can I mumble some poetic words in front of a crowd and then sit back down wishing I was invisible? Of course, of course I can do that. I talked about how a lot of times I am brave: I DO buy plane tickets to travel, I DO let needles touch my skin for the sake of better health, I DO grind words mechanically out of my mouth so I don’t fail my English class. But now I have come to the conclusion – is being brave because we have to be brave being brave at all?
A couple of weeks ago when I wrote my blog, I was convinced that I was brave. Now I am convinced that I am – without exaggeration – a coward. Today, as I was reading about Hannah (1 Samuel 1 & 2) I discovered a more accurate depiction of bravery.
If you haven’t read the story of Hannah, here is a quick-just-for-you-from-me-overview: Hannah is married to Elkanah (this really isn’t important, but he does have a really cool name). Hannah is barren. In a fervent prayer, Hannah asks that God will bless her with a son, promising to God that in turn she will “give him to the Lord for all of the days of his life.” (1 Samuel 1:11). Hannah gives birth to a son, Samuel (which means because I asked the Lord for him – pretty cool). After Samuel is weaned, Hannah fulfills the promise she made to God and dedicates Samuel to the Lord – “[…] ‘the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.'” (1 Samuel 1:28). And finally, after Hannah gives Samuel back to God, Hannah prays to the Lord with praise and exhalation.
When I look at Hannah I see a woman of true bravery. Here is why:
* Hannah asked God to give her a son knowing that He was capable to do so. In her grief, she prayed to the Lord not only asking Him to transform her physically, but spiritually in that she would be willing – if God fulfilled his promise – to give Samuel over to the Lord.
* After having Samuel Hannah kept her promise. Instead of keeping what the Lord had given her, Hannah humbly gave Samuel to the Lord. In giving Samuel to God, Hannah trusts that God will use Samuel for a plan that is much greater.
* Hannah gave up her blessing to bless others.
This made me think: how often do we ask God for something and then hold onto it when He asks us to release it? Hannah’s bravery is rooted in her willingness to ask and believe that God can perform the unthinkable (aka give her a son though she is barren) and her willingness to let go when God gently asks her to open her hand. Hannah trusts that God’s plan for Samuel is better than her own. You see, releasing what God has given us, because we trust him, is being brave.
But being brave is also (and this is just as difficult) asking God to bless us so that we can bless others in return. Being vulnerable with God – telling him the desires of our heart even when they are hard for us to admit – is being brave. Just like Hannah was open with God about her grief and bitterness, when we are open with God about our desires, dreams, and fears, we give Him the opportunity to respond. When we are vulnerable with God we acknowledge Him as the keeper of our secrets, the healer of the wounded, the shepard of the lost, and the God who can cause the blind to see, the lame to walk, and the barren to have child.
In reading the story of Hannah, I have realized that I have clenched my fist to God – tightly holding onto the blessings He has given me. Instead of opening my hand for the Lord to bless me and, in turn, give that blessing up for it to bless others, I have turned my fingertips blue. Ultimately, being brave is having our palms open to God trusting that He is both good and sovereign. Being brave is letting go. Being brave is living a life that is bold.
xx, Hannah
P.S. Just for kicks and giggles (or if you just really need some encouragement to be brave) listen to this: Sara Bareilles – Brave
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